Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Happy Birthday, Miranda Fortich.

I know I wrote a post like 2.5 seconds ago, but an idea just dawned on me. Because it is my absolute favorite person's 20th birthday today (December 6), I decided to dedicate a whole blog post to her and her style. 

Meet Miranda Fortich. My best friend of 20 years, ever since she came out of her mother's you-know-what. In our adolescent years, Miranda had always been the tomboyish one between us. While I sat cross-legged, twirling my hair, and sucking my thumb (not kidding, this is typical Jordan at the ages of 2-10), Miranda was doing karate moves, turtle wrestling, or breaking her arm trying to do gymnastics tricks. However, while all doing this borderline-dyke actions, Miranda was always wearing the cutest clothes that made me super jealous. Her mom dressed her up in the prettiest lace dresses, the most luscious satin bow headbands, and the cutest floral prints. Today, if you're lucky to know Miranda at all, you will know that her childhood has somehow crept up into her present. Rough masculinity, yet gloriously feminine. Any of Miranda's close friends would describe her style as Rocker Girl chic.

A secret style doppleganger (although not as intense, thank GOD) of Miranda's would probably be former Gossip Girl bad girl, Taylor Momsen. As I write this post, Momsen's band, The Pretty Reckless, is the Pandora radio station that I have tuned into for some background inspiration music. Miranda is in no way, shape, or form a depiction of goth girl Taylor Momsen. If she was, I probably would deem her as that weird suicidal cousin that I try to avoid at all costs during family functions. Rather, Momsen is kind of like a style icon whose wardrobe you only take one piece of clothing from at a time to work with.

The keys to this rocker girl/bad-ass style vibe are the following:
1. Look like you want to drive a sledgehammer into the face of whoever is closest you.
2. Give off the feeling that daddy probably didn't love you enough as a child.
3. Someone spilled fruit punch all over your favorite Doc Martens you found in an alley behind your neighborhood park.
4. You get the idea.

If you still don't understand, let's look to Taylor Momsen to better explain. 

From the descriptions I gave you earlier, you probably were imagining those strange kids in middle school or high school, who wore the tacky, shiny combat boots, with the bright pink fishnet stockings, band shirts, and leather jackets with various patches of bands you have never heard of. The ones that made you scared to lay a step in Hot Topic. Right? Despite the negative feelings you've had before, after looking at the pictures of Momsen, you can't help but want to draw out the inner rocker girl inside you yourself. If you had to be a wrist-slitting goth, it'd be her you'd want to be hands down. 

You don't have to go all out in wanting to dress like a total bad-ass by following Momsen's combat footsteps step-by-step; just throw on some sheer, sexy thigh-highs, black, leather, studded Jeffrey Campbell Litas, a tight, lacey slip/dress/skirt, and then a smelly, old band t-shirt you found at Goodwill. Just add some fake hair extensions, MAC's Carbon black eyeshadow, and lots of eyeliner and BAM! you're basically Taylor Momsen-- or maybe even better, Miranda Fortich. :)

Happy Birthday, Miranda!! <3

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